Monday, May 4, 2009

diagnostic essay revised - Islands of adventure


First draft

Islands of Adventure

Every Childs first vacation away from home is always the one that they remember the most. The first vacation that I took with my family was to an Adventure park in Florida called Islands of Adventure. My family and I had a very good time and I hope to travel there again with my own family some day.
The ride to Florida in the car was about a good nine hour ride. My dad made us listen to the same cd for the whole ride there. The first stop we made when we traveled from Virginia to Florida was to South of the Border. South of the Border is located right in between North Carolina and South Carolina. When I picture it in my mind now I think of it as a mini Las Vegas because of all the bright lights and big statues. Before we left the border we bought some fireworks and stickers.
When we finally got to Florida my family and I stayed in a really big resort. The resort to me felt like living in an apartment building. There were only two rooms in the resort but it was six kids and two adults. So we all basically had to sleep together. In our stay there we had free breakfast, a big pool, golf course and a Jacuzzi.
Being in the Resort was a blast but the most exciting part of the trip was going to Islands of Adventure. Islands of Adventure is a theme park located right next to Disney Land. The park it self is really big though and I saw many exciting things while I was there. We went to a parade and saw all of the Marvel Super Heroes like Spiderman. I mainly rode 3D rides because back then I was terrified of roller coasters. If I were to go back to the park now I would most likely ride all of the rides there.
My first vacation is one that I will always remember for the rest of my life. There was plenty of excitement. I think that Islands of Adventure is a place for every child to go. When I have own kids one of these days I plan on taking them there to have the same fun that I had.





revised: Islands Of Adventure

Every Childs first vacation away from home is always the one that they remember the most. The first vacation that I took with my family was to an Adventure park in Florida called Islands of Adventure. My family and I had a very good time and I hope to travel there again with my own family some day.
The ride to Florida in the car was about a good nine hour ride. My dad made us listen to the same Bob Marley Reggae cd the whole ride there. The first stop we made when we traveled from Virginia to Florida was to South of the Border. South of the Border is located right in between North Carolina and South Carolina. When I picture it in my mind now, I think of it as a mini Las Vegas. We went to a little convenient store to get some gas and some treats. My cousin’s bout some fireworks and we also got a bumper sticker for our car. The ride out was scary. It was really dark outside and my mom was driving on the wrong side of the street. We didn’t know until we seen a huge truck coming toward us at full speed. My mom hurried up and maneuvered a U-turn and we were all in the back seat screaming for our lives. Once we were safely on the right side of the street we all just looked at each other and broke out into laughter.
When we finally got to Florida my family and I stayed in a really big resort. The resort to me felt like living in an apartment building. There were only two rooms in the resort but it was six kids and two adults. So we all basically had to sleep together. In our stay there we had free breakfast, a big pool, golf course and a Jacuzzi. Our days were filled with joy and laughter and me and my brothers were all anticipating the day that we would get to go to the amusement park.
The day that my family and I actually went to Islands of Adventure was a blast. We had to walk on a mini escalader just to get to the park. At the time I was scared of escaladers so I would jus put my foot on then take it off really fast. Then I noticed everyone was so far ahead so I just went ahead and did it. That particular day it was scorching hot outside. We went to parades and rode many amazing rides. Then we had to walk all the way back to our car jus to get something to eat then walk back to the scorching hot park. I mainly rode 3D rides back then because I was terrified of roller coasters. There was one particular dinosaur ride that I terrified to ride and refused to get on but everybody else in my family went and they were not going to leave me alone. I begged and pleaded to my father “please don’t make me go”, but he insisted. I kept my eyes closed the whole ride and everyone else just laughed at me. All I can remember was the loud dinosaur noises and the long drop of the ride.
My first vacation is one that I will always remember for the rest of my life. There was plenty of excitement. I think that Islands of Adventure is a place for every child to go. When I have own kids one of these days I plan on taking them there to have the same fun that I had.